Chuck Lorre, So Vain…

Ok, so we’ve been watching Big Bang Theory for quite awhile.  We DVR the show and usually fast forward through commercials.  Tonight, as the show ended, a lot text appeared on the screen and for some reason I caught the word “penis” in the middle of the screen.  To be sure my eyes were playing tricks on me!  So we rewinded and hit pause…  sure enough, I read this line: “Forty years ago I measured my penis with a wood ruler.  The irony was lost on me”.

Here’s the entire screen…


In public bathrooms I will sometimes use the “children’s urinal” in order to feel like a giant.

If no one’s around, I’m likely to sing along with Aretha Franklin’s version of “You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman, but not the Carole King version.

I’ve never understood why anyone would bother making a porn movie that lasts longer than ten minutes.

I often pretend that the person standing next to me in an elevator is an unwitting carrier of a deadly airborne disease unleashed by terrorists who hate our freedom. This, of course, forces me to hold my breath until the doors open.

Forty years ago I measured my penis with a wood ruler. The irony was lost on me.

Sometimes sex just seems like a lot of work.

There are mornings when, for no perceivable reason, I turn into a teenage girl and repeatedly change my outfit.

I floss so that my dentist will be proud of me.

Even when asked, I have never been able to “talk dirty” to a woman without feeling like a complete idiot.

My one attempt at manscaping ended in bloodshed.

So, now I’m intrigued… I started to wonder if good ‘ole Chuck does this after every episode.  I looked online and found that these messages are called vanity cards.  They aired after Big Bang, Two & a Half Men, and Dharma & Greg.  Obviously, I’d never noticed it before.  All of Chuck’s vanity cards (included those that were censored can be found on his website).   I spent the next 30 minutes reading through these cards and found them to be very entertaining.  Thanks Chuck, I’ll pay more attention from now on!


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